What to do when having multiple excellent options feels overwhelming instead of exciting. For women in tech decision making can feel like a challenge when you have multiple options.
You might feeling pulled between exciting opportunities while your inner critic questions every move—if so, this story is for you.
Meet Moira: a brilliant tech professional whose journey from overwhelm to strategic clarity reveals the hidden patterns that keep accomplished women stuck.
🔄 The “Choose Your Lane” Myth
Moira arrived at coaching with what seemed like a clear problem:
Multiple part-time positions across different organizations that added up to more than full-time work, plus the crushing pressure to “choose a lane” quickly.
Her resume? Enviable.
Her projects? Press-worthy.
Her confidence? Nowhere to be found.
Here’s what I noticed immediately: Moira could articulate every workplace inequity with laser precision—being seen as “safe hands” while bigger projects went to male colleagues with equal contributions—but couldn’t see her own strategic brilliance.
💠The Self-Sabotage Script Running in Your Head
Every strategic conversation started the same way:
- “If I was smart, I would…”
- “If I engaged my brain, I’d…”
- “If I wasn’t so scattered…”
Sound familiar?
This isn’t imposter syndrome talking—it’s something deeper. It’s the internalized belief that having multiple interests means you’re unfocused, rather than recognizing it as evidence of your expanding expertise.
The breakthrough insight: We couldn’t make progress on external goals while her internal narrative was sabotaging every strategic thought.
🎯 The Power Questions That Change Everything
Instead of fighting the negative self-talk directly, I introduced these women in tech decision making game-changers:
✨ “What would I advise a colleague in this exact situation?” (Instantly shifts from self-criticism to wisdom mode)
✨ “When have I been genuinely strategic before?” (Activates recognition of your actual capabilities)
✨ “What would I choose if I was operating from my best self?” (Bypasses fear-based decision making)
🌟 The Moment Everything Shifted
I asked Moira, almost tongue-in-cheek using her own words: “Tell me about the times you actually did ‘engage your brain’—what do those experiences show you?”
The transformation was immediate.
She began recognizing:
- Hard-earned lessons from previous strategic pivots
- Her track record of navigating adversity successfully
- The real reason for her current discomfort
The revelation: Her anxiety wasn’t about inability to focus—it was about having too many meaningful opportunities for the first time in her career.
🎉 Reframing Abundance as Success
By her late 40s, Moira’s growing reputation meant she was being approached for increasingly creative and mentally engaging projects.
What felt like a problem was actually evidence of her professional evolution.
The mindset shift that changed everything:
From: “I can’t choose—something’s wrong with me”
To: “I have multiple excellent options—I need to be strategic about which aligns best with who I’m becoming”
💪 Your Strategic Decision-Making Framework
By session’s end, Moira’s relief was palpable:
“I thought you’d make me choose and I’d have to give something up! Now I see I’m just doing my homework—my due diligence to see which of these great opportunities is best for who I want to become. That will take some time, but I’m actually excited now about all that could be available to me!”
For your own tech career decisions:
- Recognize the abundance problem → Having multiple good options is a high-quality challenge
- Separate due diligence from procrastination → Strategic thinking takes time
- Focus on alignment, not elimination → Which opportunity serves your evolution?
- Trust your strategic mind → It got you here; it can guide you forward
🤔 The Question That Opens Possibilities
As you navigate women in tech decision making, consider this:
What opportunities might you not be seeing, but would genuinely excite you?
Sometimes the answer isn’t choosing between existing options—it’s recognizing that your growing expertise opens doors you haven’t even imagined.
The pressure to “choose your lane” assumes lanes are permanent.
In tech, the most successful careers are built on strategic evolution, not rigid specialization.
🎠Your Next Strategic Move
Here’s your homework (no pressure!):
- Audit your self-talk → Are you advising yourself like you would a respected colleague?
- List your strategic wins → When have you navigated complexity successfully before?
- Define your evolution → Who are you becoming, and which opportunities serve that growth?
Remember: You’re not behind. You’re not scattered. You’re strategically evaluating options that reflect your professional growth.
That’s exactly where you should be.
Want even more to help with overwhelm at work?
Check out Overwhelmed at Work? This Questioning Strategy Reduces Stress.
