At one of the final sessions of my Peak Resilience Accelerator programme for women in STEM, we discussed what participants were taking away from the course. They initially focused on how much more time they wanted to devote to the content and blamed themselves for not taking it all in instantly! I reminded them that new skills, and certainly behaviour changes, take time. After all, no one learns their entire job in just a few short weeks!
I encouraged them to think about what was making a difference for them as women in STEM. I told them: ‘There is no quiz on this, so just think about what’s been changing for you.’ They relaxed and admitted they’d found the programme very useful, with lots of take-aways they could use with both colleagues and even their families.
It’s a good reminder to focus on the positive, not just how much there is still to learn or how you still aren’t doing things perfectly! That’s your ‘judge’ talking! In my experience, it’s a voice that can be very loud for women in STEM.
Opening Up Teamwork
One of the participants, Niamh, then shared how she was using the ‘Innovate’ tool we had discussed. In this tool, you focus not on how an opposing viewpoint or idea is wrong, but on the 10% you agree with. It’s based on the assumption that even your staunchest enemy is right on 10% of all of their ideas and values. This is a departure for most of us, as we normally focus on the 90% of someone else’s opinions with which we disagree. The women in the group quickly agreed this ‘traditional’ approach made meetings and discussions more hostile. However, if you could find the 10% with which you agreed – their enthusiasm, or the shared value you held – that made progress so much quicker.
Indeed, one woman said her organisation’s traditional focus on shutting down ideas made brainstorming much tougher. No one wanted to raise creative ideas even though they would likely generate even better ideas from the group. Teamwork and brainstorming is vital, as women in STEM rationally know that no single discovery, project or finding is solely generated by one person working in a vacuum! Rosalind Franklin may have felt like she was working in a vacuum as Crick and Watson made for The Eagle pub – but that’s another story!
Niamh said she’d found the ‘Innovate’ shift useful: ‘I’m using this with colleagues, but also with my kids and my husband! With him, it’s helped us start to get out of the pattern of the way we argue – and he can see a difference too. We may not be in complete agreement at the end of the argument, but I am forcing myself to see the 10% of where we agree more often!’
Using Confidence Catalyst Lessons in Daily Life
What could finding the 10% offer you? What would it change in your discussions, or in your relationships?
If you think this kind of mental rewiring is something you could benefit from, keep an eye out for my next round of Peak Resilience Accelerator sessions! Or get in contact for some executive coaching sessions, or a webinar talk.
