A recent conversation I had with my client Gina reminded me of some fascinating research about the level of effort necessary in making better decisions.
The research suggested that those who have higher Positive Intelligence (PQ) scores, like those raised by my Peak Resilience Accelerator, are able to take more care and have more accuracy in decision-making with less effort.
For some clients, reframing triggers is a big part of helping them think more clearly.
A Little ‘Trigger’ Happy
Gina was a PRA client who spoke about how ‘triggered’ she’d been by an email sent to her by a client, who, unhappy with the service he’d received, was withholding payment.
She used the word ‘trigger’ multiple times as we talked it through. I noticed the word itself seemed to inflict greater anger in her every time she used it.
Her client not only wanted to withhold payment, he threatened to ‘ruin’ her reputation in her industry. This was a complete change from the feedback she normally received from happy clients and clearly a serious situation.
When we talked through the story, I asked what words or phrases, other than ‘triggering’ she could use to describe the situation.
Indeed, how might reframing triggers serve her?
When It Comes to Reframing Triggers, Ask Yourself:
- How could looking at your situation from a different perspective serve you?
Gina relaxed into the question, and explained the client had not received the ‘miraculous’ but unrealistic benefits he anticipated. However, as we talked it through, she could see how many of the client’s own decisions prevented the wins he wanted.
He had not used the product as advised, or in conjunction with the other suggestions she’d made. Indeed, a colleague had told her the client had a bad reputation in the industry. However, it was a reputation she thought she could work around when first agreeing to work with him.
Gina then remarked that using the PRA skills she’d learned in her group, she’d responded to him with an entire list of all the steps she had taken to ensure that product worked for him. She also offered to meet him face to face.
Surprisingly for her, he backed down, and her bill did get paid in the end.
Important Reminders
As she calmed down, Gina remarked: ‘Rather than thinking of him as being ‘triggering’ to me, I can just remind myself that some people are just idiots!’
She continued: ‘It’s a good reminder to avoid him or people who have a difficult reputation in the first place.’
Indeed, we talk about empathy a lot in the PRA – for yourself, others and your situation. By focusing on empathy for him, a new move for her, she also realised the client was under inordinate pressure to make his own services ground-breaking.
Gina reflected: ‘It’s a good reminder that most of the time, people’s upset has very little to do with me. It’s far more about what’s going on for them – at home or at work.’
She continued: ‘It’s taken me a good long time to remind myself of that.’
Suspect that you or your teammates might benefit from a reframe of the tricky situations we all face? To encourage the ability to ‘reframe’ for better mental fitness, get in touch with me at to see how a PRA group could serve your workplace.
Alternatively reach out for a free session to better understand your own Saboteur Assessment.
