At the halfway point of our Peak Resilience Accelerator programme, I asked the participants, all women in STEM, when they had experienced the evidence that their inner critic or ‘judge’ had been wrong? The evidence was key for women in STEM because we often believe that our inner judge, our self-limiting beliefs, are completely true. However, these are solely inner voices that grow too powerful by overuse; a muscle upon which we over-rely. This means recognising that our self-doubt is often wrong was vital for the participants to unlock their potential.
Over several weeks, one of the attendees, Susan, told us of a huge amount of weight she’d lost over several years, focusing on how much more active she could be with her children as her primary motivation. Let’s be clear, this programme focuses on career development, but what was wonderful to see is how unpicking their inner saboteurs or ‘voices’ affected every part of their lives.
Do It For Your Future Self
When I asked the women in STEM about ‘when their judge had been wrong,’ Susan responded her ‘hyper-vigilant’ voice had kept her out of lots of physical activities. She always focused on the danger and what could go wrong.
As her kids aged, her husband asked for them to take a trip where swimming in underground caves could be a possibility. As they landed in this dream destination in central America, Susan realised she didn’t want her hyper-vigilance to hold her kids back – or make them fear the wider world as well.
In retelling the story she said: ‘I’ve always kept them safe, but this time after we landed, I realised I’d have to ask a different question. I couldn’t be ruled any longer by the voice that said: ‘What if something goes wrong?’ Instead, I had to experiment with the question we focus on in Peak Resilience Accelerator: ‘How does my older, wiser self want to look back on this once in a lifetime holiday?’’
Susan didn’t want to have any regrets, and that version of her knew that you regret far more of the risks that you don’t take, than the risks you do. For me, women in STEM are a perfect example of this, as it’s never a set of industries that it’s ‘easy’ for them to accidentally fall into.
Prove Yourself Wrong
Susan realised that this type of underground caving opportunity with her family was exactly the type of activity for which she’d been losing weight and doing physical training! It didn’t initially look like the ‘safe’ option her ‘Hyper-Vigilant’ saboteur may have hoped for. However, when she realised how many thousands of people did the same excursion over the years, she and the rest of the family took the leap.
Susan said to the group with a smile and no hesitation: ‘It was actually the highlight of our entire trip.’ It was the evidence she was able to draw upon when thinking about just how often her inner judge and the unhelpful voices were, as she laughed, ‘completely wrong!’ This is key, as only when you realise that can you start to quieten those voices to unleash your potential.
What Do Your Saboteurs Tell You?
If you want to learn more about what your saboteurs might be doing to hold you back in your career, keep an eye out for my next round of Peak Resilience Accelerator sessions! Or get in contact for some executive coaching sessions, or a webinar talk.
